I try to have a good marriage and/or parenting book going all the time to help me apply some intention to those facets of my life on a daily basis.
Recently, I finished Is That All He Thinks About? How to Enjoy Great Sex with Your Husband by Marla Taviano. In the book, 30-something Taviano presents a genuine, funny, and often self-directed appeal for married women to mindfully invest in their sexual relationships with their husbands. She addresses the disconnect women often experience in the levels of their sexual interest before and after marriage. Commiserating with her readers, Marla acknowledges how "real life"--bills, in-laws, kids--can suck the magic out of the room, in a sense. However, she calls upon the heavy-hitting advice of mature relationship experts (Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Shaunti Feldhahn, Tim and Beverly LaHaye, and Kevin Leman, among others) and urges women to explore the selfish roots and corrosive effects of being chronically sexually unavailable in marriage.
The book offers pull-no-punches advice in a self-deprecating, girlfriendy style. I imagine Taviano's jolly candor will help young brides, in particular, swallow the book's sobering--albeit encouraging--message. For instance, in a chapter on battling negative body image, she admits to regularly checking out other women's boobs. Now, see, I appreciate that kind of forthrightness in a girlfriend/writer (Deep down in my delusional, book-crazed heart, I consider writers I like to actually be my girlfriends. In my mind, Kelly Corrigan and I are besties. Totally. Basically twins. If we ever met, we'd probably wear matching outfits on purpose). Marla even includes a "body image quiz" which gave me a little thrill. I've always liked a good quiz.
Instead of presenting herself as some kind of relational wunderkind (she is in her early thirties, after all), Marla pulls from her recent and ongoing struggle to build a satisfying, sparkly relationship with her husband and includes plenty of seasoned advice from other experts. I'd recommend the book to engaged girls or newlyweds, for sure. I'll be adding it to the long list of required reading for my girls before they get married. To the men their father and I have selected. Just kidding. Kind of.
Q for you: What is your favorite parenting/marriage/relationship book? Comment below for a chance to win a copy of Marla Taviano's Is That All He Thinks About? How to Enjoy Great Sex with Your Husband.
26 comments:
Wow. I like your idea to be consistently reading a book about parenting/marriage. I'm not sure I could quite keep up with it (I'm a one book at a time kind of girl), but I do think it's wise to pick up an advice book every so often to keep getting input on important relationships.
Anyway, to answer your question (and hopefully win that book!), I think His Needs, Her Needs would be the one I'm mostly likely to recommend. In fact, I should probably read/skim through it again sometime soon. : )
I love His Needs, Her Needs, Christa. I also love Dr. Laura. I do! I know she chafes some people, but I can't get enough of her.
I read 365: A Memoir of Intimacy by Charla Muller a few months ago. Her basic principle was the same, but in memoir style: have more sex with your husband and you'll have a better marriage. I liked the message, but the book itself drug a bit. This book might be more my style. :-) And by the way, Elizabeth Gilbert and I would totally be best friends. You know. If we ever met.
Correction: That's 365 Nights. I knew I was missing a word in there.
Dr. Laura chafes? Whom? I love here! So straightforward; no games!
btw, I think that I'll read the book. Seems to me that after 17 years of marriage, I desperately need it. As much as I love, adore my husband, life does get in the way. I'm thinking that I'm not the only one.
Sounds like it is a good book to read if you are struggling in the bedroom after a long-term relationship or marriage. Since I am still in the early stages of a relationship I don't have a need for this now, but I will keep it in mind for down the road for sure.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I enjoyed reading it.
My fingers are crossed!
bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com
My bookclub read The Five Love Languages. Everyone enjoyed it and for weeks we tested everyone we knew and often their partners requested that they too be tested. Most of those who participated in the testing report that they have improved their relationships with family members as well as their partners.
enyl(at)inbox(dot)com
Sounds good! I have to admit I started reading the dr Laura book that was accidently mailed to me and it's not bad!
I don't think I've read any marriage advice books or How-To books on raising children. I did check Dr. Spock when mine were little, but if his advice was too different from from what I was doing, I ignored it. I've just discovered over the years that there are a lot of ways to do the same thing and some work better than others depending on the individual.
Having said that, it sounds like Ms Taviano has some valid points and advice about not letting life get in the way of your relationship. It is way too easy to let that happen. Even after almost 38 years, we are still learning about how to make the marriage work and to be there for each other in all ways.
librarypat AT comcast DOT net
Nice post....Thanks for sharing.
Take the Parenting Style Test and find out your Parenting Style. I have taken the test and enjoyed a lot. Hope u too will enjoy it. Have Fun!!
Cool! I like "girlfriendy" type books. The first one to come to mind is The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy which I found totally straightforward and refreshing in a sea of too-sweet or too-new age pregnancy books I read in the beginning of mine.
Will be looking for this one!
My "favorite" (defintion: most used) book is "The Power of a Praying Wife." I've been wanting a copy of Marla's book for awhile!
Wonderful post.
I enjoy Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas....good perspective on WHY marriage.
I enjoyed and learned a lot from "His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage" by Willard F. Harley, Jr. We both read it before we got married.
I loved reading Marla's Changing Your World One Diaper at a Time and would love to read another book that she wrote. I also got a lot out of the Eldredges' Captivating and Wild at Heart as far as understanding the needs of men vs. women.
My fave is The Five Love Languages
I just bought the book Love & Respect which I will be starting soon.
I'd love to win this book for my wife -- sounds like a good 30th anniversary deal for this summer. I appreciate the insights she got from Martha Peace's book and seminars "The Excellent Wife"
Funny! I almost described Marla as a cross between Dr. Laura and Vicki Iovine, but I wasn't sure if other people would get the "Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" reference. How much do I love Vicki Iovine, former Playboy model?? hahaha
Thanks to your book review I think I'm going to pick this one up and give it a try! Im not married yet, but after 5 1/2 years of dating it sometimes feels that way! I think this sounds like it'd be relevant for any long term relationship! Plus, I've never given any relationship advice books a try, so I might as well start now!
I've read alot of marriage books. Two that are my favorites: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and Love Life for Every Married Couple by Dr. Ed Wheat.
I don't really have a favorite. So many have bits that I like and bits that I don't. This one sounds good, though.
This is not a book, but husband and really enjoy Mark Gungor: Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage (DVD). You can search for a clip on youtube (search his name, men's brain women's brain).
I don't remember the name of it but I read an awesome book about becoming a stepmother-six monthes after I became a stepmother! Should have read it a little earlier but the book did help me grow! I passed it on to another friend in the same situation after I finished. This sounds like an interesting read and my husband would probably say I should read it: mcmholt [at] gmail [dot] com
Yes that is all he thinks about! haha.
Post a Comment